The Olive & The Fig

gong xi faa chai everyone! if you’re on the road, please drive safely, in fact, please drive defensively. no need to get in the way of the umpthteen idiot drivers on the road. avoiding them at all cost is much cheaper than life insurance.

i’m back in putrajay for cny and last night during dinner, i didn’t even realise it was the cny reunion dinner, even though there was duck the table. maybe it was because i had had such a hectic day and was totally exhausted plagued by yet another headache. or maybe it was because we were down two of our family members, namely:  adam and laila! you goons!

i still can’t believe it. if i were to disappear on cny eve, my dad would have my neck for it. one of my siblings buggers off to klcc and the other to a place that’s not in my vocab. and then, the first misses the last train back to putrajaya, and the other prances home after our cny photo shoot. tasneem has already konked out from all the singing and dancing. so much for a reunion dinner. there were only 4 of us plus a small one sitting on her amah’s lap.

come to think of it, i miss cny when we were younger. no, not just because i use to be a recipient of the ang pows, but i don’t know, the whole atmosphere i guess. the chinese shows on the singaporean cable (hometown is in jb); colouring on large pieces of paper torn from the dining table; the clutter of mah jong cards on the plastic tabe for four; loud aunties and grandaunties yapping about only God know what, my grandad exhausting his collection of fireworks he bought using his year’s worth of savings; the sound of the neighbour’s alarm everytime his fireworks hit their house; i miss all my cousins - though i only have 4.

oh well, those were the days. and i do miss my grandparents. i think i missed the most during my wedding, when they weren’t there. it’s a must to remember those who passed on. reminds us that each new year - no matter which new year - we’ve actually been alive for a year and God may bless us with another. whether or not it will meaningful is up to you. it reminds us of our death and our next phase of live in the grave.

right now, dad’s grumbling that i don’t want to go down to jb this year. i really don’t want to but he’s the old sentimental dude who grumbles alot, so what can i say?

but this is the new year, so no complaints please - and the Muslim new year is in a couple of days! have to read up on ma’al hijrah - marking the hijrah (journey?) through the desert of saudi arabia by foot of the ostrasized few Muslims from Makkah to Madinah, where the first Muslim community true to Islam was formed. as much unknown to us, many of us make hijrah in our own right - flight from evil to good; search for salvation, knowledge and wisdom; changes for the better, are all hijrah in our personal jihad for betterment (if there is such a word).

yesterday, nizam had a morning class so he dropped me and tasneem off at carrefour wangsa maju. it was my very first experience being out and about with her alone with no one to help me out. really scary but alhamdulillah we pulled through. she only started crying when i had to stop at the cashier to pay for our cheong-sams. after that she slept through breakfast at the quietest corner i could find. then i carried her around anakku and let her bat at the toys on the shelf. i was running out of ideas watching time strain by so i sat her in a walker, in a high chair, walked around a bit more, called nizam 15 times, then went to buy hotdogs for lunch.

ok then, happy new year of the puppy to everyone. take care and drive safely, eat smartly and any ang pows coming this way? drop me a line and i’ll email you tasneem’s tabung haji account number.

salaam, spend these precious hols with your loved ones!

“you sure you want 6 children?” I had just asked nizam if he was still harping on about haviing a baby boy when he retorted immediately with the above question.

Okay. So he had read my friendster profile. Heh… remember, communicate with your spouse before posting anything on the internet.

We were watching tasneem crawl diagonally across our bed fighting off of sleepiness with every last ounce of energy she could muster. So this was two nights ago and one of our off days. I was on mc for the day with a sledgehammer headache, tasneem had the sniffles and nizam had quarantined himself in another room with the flu. We had agreed for tasneem to sleep in her cot at night due to many reasons but since both of us (mum and baby) were unwell, it would be easier to tend to her if we were sharing a bed.

That was, if she would finally find a spot to settle down. She was still complaining in her baby babbles and squirming while we watched her quietly in the dark. it was already 10pm and neither of us had had our dinner yet.

We had visited the doctor’s this morning as I was wondering what was really the point? All we told her was what was wrong with each of us and she just prescribed the medicine. I could have gone shopping in their dispensary.

Can we really vouch for honesty amongst our medical practitioners nowadays? Are they too, in the business arena where profit precedes all priority, and the patients’ well-being compromised? We know doctors are initially attached with government hospitals and are paid considerably less than the private sector. But once, if they wish, move to private sector, are they really honest in their profession and carry out their admirable work with the ethics it entails?

I don’t know, these are just thought. When we first started shopping around for an OGY, I read (somewhere on the internet) that the number of c-sections performed nowadays have risen to an alarming rate of 25% in the

US

. I’m not sure about in

Malaysia

, but coming from an office full of female officers (majority with children), I can confidently say this is a relatively similar statistic for our country. I had also noted that c-sections could not amount to more than 17% of births in any clinic or hospital. C-sections are meant to be turned to as last resorts if a normal delivery cannot be seen through.

Anyone would know that. C-sections cost considerably more than normal births. sometimes 3 times more, 4 times even 6. that’s a major consideration all together. Advising for a c-section to patient in labour could very well result in a positive response especially if the labour is prolonged. And this would definitely translate into a dollop of profit.

Then there’s the thought of government hospitals. I may be prejudiced but the number of complaints I’ve heard of their poor service etc., is pretty much a turn off by many standards. So the majority of patients for any operation settle for the privatized institutions.

Unfortunately, I fell under the c-section statistic.

pttooeeyy! it still gets to me. though i’m grateful for the safe delivery and healthy baby.

Everyday I pray I’d be able to go per normal for my next (five?) children. And pray that they would be lesser rascals than tasneem who just can’t go to sleep peacefully.

She did finally drop off into slumber at the corner of the bed, though I’m guessing the medicine for her runny nose didn’t contribute much to that effect.

The Qur’an says that there is a cure for every ailment and every region has been blessed with medicinal properties. Even more reason to pursue our biotechnology incentive as an economic driver of growth.

A major natural health concoction, many say, is zam zam water from the zam zam well in Makkah. With mum‘s recent return we have had our fair share of zam zam in tiny goblets. Even tasneem had a teaspoon, which was quite comical to watch.

I guess a little more zam zam this weekend would benefit her. After all, the blessed water sprang forth from the striking of baby Ismail’s foot upon the barren desert land while his devoted mother, Lady Hagar, ran frantically too and from for help. But remember, zam zam really is an exception. Babies below 6 months only need nourishment from breast or formula milk. Water may hinder nutrients from being absorbed into their system.

I tell aunties of the prior generation the above, and they look at me like I’m from another planet. Good grief. As much as I question the integrity of some doctors above, there are those who are very dependable - those who stretch consultation beyond the basics; explain prescriptions to their patients; provide constructive feedback on your health; provide advise that are actually verifiable and end in amiable results. These are the doctors you should seek – be them from the private sector or government hospitals.

Tasneem slept through the night, thank God. It had been a while since she had done that and it was breaking us down. Hence the headache I guess. Anyway, it’s not only for us. Her development depends on the amount of sleep she gets at night too.

Find a good doctor for your child. It was tasneem’s pediatrician who advised to eliminate night wakings. Many parents think it’s normal for children to wake at night and continue to accommodate this until the child nears his / her 1^st birthday. But with proper management, nutrition, and adequate sleep during the day,

8pm-7am

night sleep for babies as young as 2 months will no longer be a dream-away. And it’s best for both baby and mum. After all – how would I cope if I really wanted six?

Salaam, take care of your health

haha i did it again.

this time i vow not to write in point form as it makes me sound geeky. which I AM NOT! :p

was at putrajaya over the weekend to welcome my mum back from Makkah. thought i could blog all through the 3 days, but unfortunately the pc is in the masterbedroom, which seems to be the meeting place for all 7 members of the family. i really couldn’t concentrate so i left one blog hanging - it was a good one too.

as for the other blog, the one on our family’s fraser’s hill trip… i couldn’t seem to upload some interesting pics. so i got all technologically-psyched and stole a CD from my brother. thought i was smart enough not to ask for his help to burn the pics onto the stolen CD, so i did it myself.

back in the office today i was all excited to decorate my blog with all those intriguing pictures. so i passed the CD to my boss’ secretary to save in our share folder. what’s wrong with my D drive? i don’t know and don’t ask. i think it’s broken and i haven’t reported it to the IT guy.

next thing i know the CD is faulty. my friend’s pc can’t even read it! oh Lord, for all the science contained in the glorious Qur’an, i, as a humble slave, can’t even work a CD burner or can’t even steal a proper CD or can’t even format a CD or whatever.

gosh, i’ll only be back in putrajaya later this week for the chinese new year, so i’ll only get to post that blog much later.

anyway, since i’ve managed to amaze myself with my incompetence i guess it would be wise to share with you something i used to be better at. a piece of poetry i write some years ago. a budding aspiring poet told me that it’s one of my better pieces (hey Wern! haven’t seen any of your work lately!).

it was a piece i wrote based on a good friend’s experience. probably something that you, dear reader, might just be able to relate to. so if you think of your experience, remember not to take heart. it happens to everyone.

but for all the poetry embedded in the glorious Qur’an, this little doodle is a mere smudge on a particle of sand merged into golden-white beach in terengganu.

Rocks for Angels

Thunderous the ocean is, so
You’re both throwing rocks at sea,
Arched wings of a butterfly sunbathe
Broken. Falling towards you and him,
Echoes from dimension pre-time:
Pitter patter on the ground,
Toes sieving through the golden sands
Shrieks of laughter all around…
Broken, her eyes turn to you,
Tousled, as you both mend the wings,
His green line of patience wearing thin
as you and she embrace. Sparkling.
Second hand strains with movement,
Contemplating your life, he can’t dictate
Oldest friend’s happiness wish for you and her
When suddenly her gaze drifts away…
Span of wings envelope him whole;
Rock for angel, from your comrade true,
Past and future sands entwine
As you feel them throwing rocks at you.

Maria Zain

Copyright ©2006 Maria Zain

salaam all, take care

hi all. and to those who actually read my blog, i really didn’t know people read blogs. so, i myself started reading all of yours as well. though i admit:

• confession no 1

i can’t read half the blogs i access. maybe i’m not clicking on the right thing or there’s something wong with my browser or the colours you guys use make my eyes smart. seriously. but no worries, will try again later.

something else too, i know i haven’t been the ever-potent in keeping in touch, until recently but:

• confession no 2

i can’t seem to reply to your messages. i mean, friendster seems to let me do everything else, even start a blog, but apparently i haven’t turned on certain functions. tried everything, even re-activated my dormant hotmail account, but still no luck.

so with regards to the above:

(1) thanks for all those comments about tasneem. masha’allah.

(2) yes i know she looks like me

(3) yes i know she looks like her ah-ku (uncle adam)

(4) yes i agree she doesn’t look like her dad

(5) i’m in malaysia, though i wish i was in europe

(6) yes, we should meet up - maybe during lunch hrs on weekdays? is that ok? i’m at jalan sultan ismail if you’re wondering. next to concorde.

(7) i don’t know how to connect one blog to the other, really rose, i’m sorry.

(8) lenn, tell ija she looks really nice in her red sari! and tell her congrats and send my regards to everyone in the pic.

ok then. luckily there are only 2 confessions. i’ll try to figure out how to overcome them. and anyway, we are suppose to keep in touch with each other at least once in every 3 days (another Sunnah by the Prophet). you would think that’s impossible, but hey, techology and some competence (by some people) at it  should do the trick.

salaam all, say hello to long lost friends…

it’s always pleasant to look at babies. don’t know if that applies to everyone. maybe everyone female. but eversince i had tasneem, 99% of the time when we’re out and about, someone will come up and say…awwww baby…. and then the questions flood in. baby boy? how old? how heavy?

well this morn, she was feeling very heavy. was walking down the stairs, with 8 kg of baby draped over my right shoulder and the last piece of refridgerated chocolate cake in my left hand. ok, so its not ideal, but that’s what happens when you don’t sleep at night - a heavy baby and a rushed breakfast.

i came down to the second floor, and a nice lady says … awwww baby…. i gave a crooked smile, tried to lift my eyelids a little higher than my pupils, and contnued to dawdle off before the questions hit my temples instead of my ears.

so this lady was a neighbour. i have never seen her before, never spoken to her. and the first conversation coming my way, i can’t even respond to.

why does this happen? are we really so caught up with our hectic lives that we don’t even notice the important neighbour? In a Prophetic Sunnah, the Messanger of Allah (pbuh) says that 3 important things in life are a good ride (during his time would be strong camels and horses. i won’t start complaining about proton, but a better car would be nice); a spacious home (won’t start there!), and a righteous neighbour.

there are 20 families sharing the same staircase that i use daily. 80 more families in the same block. 8 more blocks surrounding mine. and about another 20 apartments like mine in the same area. how did you fare in your math courses?

an easier questions… how many neighbours do i know by name? how many have i spoken to?

we leave the house at 7.30 - 8am everyday and return 12 hrs later. weekends are filled with cleaning up the place, groceries, necessities, visiting parents, friends, spending time with family… nope no time at all for the friendly neighbour.

i hope you are not one of me. i hope you know your neighbours well, as you never when you might need them or when they might need you.

as for me, i’m all geared up to belt: "baby girl! 4.5 months! nearly 8kg!" to the next neighbour i meet.

salaam all - say hello to the person sitting next to you.

this news is a bit stale, but as it’s part of my profession, just want to let you guys know that the Ringgit strengthened considerably last week against the greenback. i think the exchange rate was recorded at USD1:MYR3.74.

so for those who are planning a trip to the States, better sell your Ringgit now. and for those with family who are in short of funds, this is the right time to repatriate.

having said that, please check the rates when you do so, like i said, this news may be stale.

anyway, on investments, besides the boom in the insurance sector and mutual funds, you may want to check out Islamic REITS (real estate). new product on the market. whoever is free, please take a read and let me know what they’re about.

salam, and invest in halal products only.

we had trooped over to pan-pac on the 14th for meine kleine schwester’s birthday. laila wanted japanese, so we sushily obliged. anyway, i love sushi and sashimi and unagi so along off we went, tasneem-in-pram, and a brightly coloured froggy lunch box for the birthday girl. laila appreciates anything you get her, even though it’s the ugliest and cheapest thing ever to be found in the dingiest store in the world. that’s what i like about my sister. ugly and cheap don’t disgust her. well, for the record, here’s a pic of laila and tasneem during ‘eid-ul fitr, both looking quite girly.

happy birthday laila! you’re old!

the lunch was lovely but tasneem refused to sleep eventhough it was her napping time, so we took turns carrying her around. she was so busy analysing the lights and sounds of the restaurant, the lifts, the lobby, the parking lot and the funny-looking malaysians in kimonos.

she konked out right after lunch though in the car, so we used her evening nap to clean up the sorry state of our cozy abode.

that night, at 4am, something in the cot stirred. and, well there are no mice, so i knew tasneem had army-crawled forwards and smacked her head on the headboard. when i opened my eyes, she was peering over her safety bolster in our direction, gums galore and saliva all over the place.

nizam had swiftly gotten up and announced that she was probably too warm. yep, chinese new year and hot weather always hold hands. he removed her jumpsuit and changed her nappy and i carried her over to her bed to nurse.

i thought she had fallen asleep so i flipped her over onto her stomach, patting her a little on her back.

dozing off, i heard her little koala nails scratching away at her dad’s tshirt. i guess she didn’t get a response coz all of a sudden i heard this ascending "AA-AEH! AA-AEH!" until it hit a crescendo.

mind you, nizam had switched off the night light he bought for her but when i opened my eyes, i swear she was raising her eyebrows at me. that was her "come on, let’s play" look. i shut my eyes and tried to ignore her.

next thing i knew, she had army-crawled onto my pillow and started pulling my hair. it was bad enough to be attacked my an overgrown marshmellow, but to have minnie mouse right smack in my face was another thing all together.

i vow, my next baby will only wear winnie the pooh apparel. the characters and their colours are so much more pleasant - winnie (honey gold), eeyore (blue-grey), tigger (subdued orange) and piglet (pale pink) - as compared to too-real-representation-of-a-woman minnie mouse.

and no, piglet doesn’t bother me, eventhough she?he? actually is a piglet. Muslims are by all means prohibited from consuming pork-related products, but the Prophet had once mentioned that there was nothing wrong with a brush made out of boar hair. what more, a tiny picture of a pink piglet on a child’s outfit? (of course, you should let your children know, that pigs are not the ideal soft toys or paintings to keep.) and anyway, in terms of food, i really wouldn’t settle for bear, donkey or tiger on my platter anyday.

i carried tasneem up onto my stomach, hair-pulling and all, then she started kicking me in the chin. memories of when mobility and hand-eye coordination were not options for her began to flood back! she was giggling away, saliva everywhere, having won the wrestling match, with minnie smirking on her chest, until i put her back down next to me. "AA-AEH!"

i quickly nursed her and made sure she fell asleep this time. i watched her eye-lids fluttering still trying to ward of her sleepiness, and promptly turned her over onto her round belly.

when i woke her up at 9am for her milk, bath, cuddle routine, she was still snoring. so i gently let her nurse and let her burp, bathed her, and changed her into a winnie the pooh outfit i bought at the mines.

five minutes later she puked on it during our cuddling session.

salaam all, love your babies. one day, as laila says, they will be horrifying teenagers like her.

9am in the office and my supervisors asks me how’s my mum. yep, nizam told me about the stampede at Mekah during our trip to drop off tasneem at her babysitter’s. He mentioned that no Malaysians were amongst the deceased so I promptly informed my supervisor that i knew insha’Allah my mum was fine. I then continued to say, "you know, Jackie, about the pilgrimage, if there are no accidents like this happen where many are killed, there will be many natural deaths amongst the pilgrims." i know this from a several experienced pilgrims who have witnessed deaths in Mekah during the Haj season and I am prepared to believe it. After all, where would be a better place for Allah Ta’ala to request His servants return to Him other than at the Holy Land in Saudi?

However, the moment i let that line escape my line of thought, it occurred to me that i may have come accross to my devout Christian supervisor as one of the many Muslim apologists who exist nowadays. with all the bad media coverage on Islam and Muslims, many of us decide to "put things right" by apologising for the actions of bad Muslim people (in this case, the stampede), and desperately try to explain that Islam does not sanction violence, honourary deaths, suicidal bombing, terrorism, child abuse, unfair polygamy to say the least.

As struggling-to-be-devout Muslims, we would all go through this process, but i have half-taken the advise of many scholars on islamonline.net not to become an apologist but to uphold the true beautiful image and meaning of Islam at all times. Don’t bother correcting the actions of non-practising Muslims but always spread the true meaning of the religion.

Then i read the news.

it was worse than i thought. close to 400 dead? though i know that death is inevitable, and returning to Allah when in worship is the best thing that could happen but i couldn’t help wondering if these types of fatalities could be avoided.

another non-muslim colleague behind me began harping "look at all these people! want to pray but end up killing each other!"

it really saddened me. as she was speaking to someone else who was providing a decent explanation, i decided not to interfere as the air of "apologism" was still hanging around my hemisphere.

then my mind started churning over the slice of christmas cake i was nibbling on: why would things like this happen? how could they be avoided?

I wouldn’t be able to answer the 2nd question as I myself have never been for Haj, but on why it happens? I thought of a few reasons.

(1) perhaps its because the majority of Muslims are from poorer, less educated countries, thus the practise and patience of Islam does not prevail during the Haj rites;

(2) "illegal" pilgrims emerge during the Haj and therefore the number of pilgrims exceed the given quota causing over-congestion;

these are just my opinion. but anyhow, no matter if you are an apologist or not, incidents like this stampede and other unfortunate mis-haps have never deterred true Muslims from upholding Haj as a pillar of Islam and performing it well.

it’s a good idea though to learn more on the correct way of performing Haj. education and knowledge and learning are always important for preparation in anything. Prophet Muhammad summoned the captured enemies of Islam after the Battle of Badr to teach the Muslims to read. So remember, knowledge can never run too deep. Knowledge and sincerity in heart will insha’Allah result in a wonderful Haj experience.

salaam, and may prayers and d’ua be with those who have passed on…

i’ve been watchless for the past 2 days. it’s left me with quite disillusioned - one of our clients just called from aussie and i just couldn’t make out the time difference. i know they are ahead of us a couple of hours but with my left wrist lighter than usual, i wasn’t sure whether to ask about her morning tea / lunch / afternoon tea…

it’s incredible how time plays such an amazing role in our lives. you never notice it but just think - if you just sat still. let your mind freeze over. let time freeze around you. and think of God… what if we lived in a timeless world? what could we accomplish without that dimension? and even with time all around us - how much do we actuall accomplish? hmmmm…. i’m telling you, every second is a God-given second - a precious moment to live.

well, back to my watch. i can’t find it because over the weekend, which stretched into eid-ul adha, we brought little tasneem home to ipoh to see her extended family. not that there are many of them… but it’s more stimulation for her than having her mum and dad sing "old macdonald had a farm" over and over again… we have even included lions and hyenas in the rhyme.

she had fun at ipoh. on eidul-adha though, i didn’t attend prayers at the masjid as i had to stay home with tasneem… the usual milk, bath, cuddle routine in the morning. i hope next year she’ll be old enough to be brought along to the masjid for both eid celebrations.

during the time of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), eid prayers were not held at the masjids but in open spaces where everyone could attend and listen to his sermons. what a joy that would be if we could still have it that way. all gathered in hijab attire, listening attentively to the Messanger of Allah giving advise on life on dunya and akhirah, wishing blessings upon each other; children in colourful clothes running around, weaving in and out of the congregation, mimicking their parents in prayers, really breathing in the atmosphere into their hyper little lungs.

i’m afraid nowadays (in our culture), many have adopted the mentality that children should not be allowed into the masjid, especially during prayers due to the noise they emit. furthermore, women too are not encouraged to attend functions at masjids. some women take advantage of this presumption and not bother even venturing towards prayer congregations. instead loitering and gallavanting around shopping complexes pose no problems towards them. children on the other hand end up rolling around in front of the booming tv, possibly watching nothing that they can benefit from.

this perception really should be changed. living life like the Prophet encompasses so much more than just prayers, fasting and zakat. it should be the complete way of life including eid celebrations. eid should be celebrated in a glorious yet moderate manner… remember Muslims should be proud of their festivals, catching a balance between the 2 worlds. "Duit raya" or ang pows may just let your child sink into the world of materialism and that money is always the best reward. teach them about prayers for Allah and the Sunnah of the Prophet. :))

here’s a pic after my family returned from the masjid, with tasneem looking the wrong way. Praise the Lord for digital cameras and the whole load of other equipment my sister-in-law and her hubby lugged back to ipoh during the hols to print a few prized pictures.

and yes, i know, i forgot to bring back a baju kurung or something alike. notice my 2 immediate uniformed in pink.

gee, the pic is really small. hope you can see it.

and after all that, my teeny weeny apartment in ampang is a mess after our return, and my watch is somewhere in the disarray.

time is limited. all time is limited. make the best of every God-given second…

salaam all…

you would have to excuse the unsaviness of yours truly but my sincere effort has to be recognised! i mean, am i not typing into the white box that will be posted on the net soon? my own line of thoughts (my actual own line of thoughts) and i can even post pictures. oh this is so cool.

well, i’m just testing this out AND it is at the very last few minutes of the working day. so don’t expect this squiggle to be too interesting. though i would like to take the last few precious seconds of this day to thank those who have blinked their eyelids in this direction. thank u…

yoodle-doo… my new year’s resolution this year is to revive my need to write and to write to save my sanity being stuck in the rat-race… running and spinning a circus wheel at the same time… possibly so for the benefit of many others. which brings me to my second resolution: to get out of the rat race… and how you might ask? heh heh… possibly through the power of the pen, or keyboard for that matter.

ok for those of you who don’t understand what i have written. it’s ok… it’s in your humanness.

take care all and remember to say your prayers.